By Ayisha Karim
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| Author, Ayisha, w/flower crown at Eid Fashion designer Nzinga Knight |
I remember the
magic like it was yesterday: Spring 1993. I stood in my mother’s bedroom, which
was a retreat in our small home in East Atlanta. Sade’s latest cd had come
out—a long-anticipated one, nearly five years after the previous one. Its name:
Love Deluxe. The song that played over the radio speakers that moment
was as dreamy, as romantic, as perfectly melodic as her earlier classics.
Too, I think
there was something about that age. I was 14 years old, a freshman in high
school. I was becoming the hopeless romantic that I am today. Sade’s music
cultivated the seeds of radical love growing inside me:
There must have been
an angel by my side
Something heavenly led
me to you
Look at the sky
It’s the color of love
When I was led to you
I knew you were the
one for me
I swear the whole
world could feel my heartbeat
When I lay eyes on you
You wrapped me up in
The color of love
“Kiss of Life”
You might be
wondering where this never-ending, deep love for Sade’s music began. Well, it
wasn’t just her music that drew me to her. Helen Folasade Adu, aka Sade,
was Nigerian-born to a Nigerian father, Adebisi, and British mother, Anne. Her
name Folasade means “honor confers a crown.”
In addition to our
shared roots traced back to the African Motherland, people began to tell me in
my teenage years that she, yes Sade, was my celebrity look-alike.
Actually, many Black women and girls found a physical resemblance to Sade
uplifting and noteworthy, as did fellow hijabi and fashion designer Nzinga
Knight (seen in cover collage above). For me, I’m sure it was the large
forehead mainly, and the slender nose. And the reason that I even knew who they
were speaking of was that my dad introduced me to her in the home. I recall
spotting one of her cassette tapes in the den, a part of my father’s collection
in the mid to late 80s.
Although I can’t
recall if it was her debut album, Diamond Life, with the popular hit
“Smooth Operator,” or the ’85 Promise album with the favorite “Sweetest
Taboo,” my dad was the parent who introduced us to the groundbreaking,
conscious music of that time: Sade, Tracy Chapman, Eric B. & Rakim, and
others. But, if you want to get a good feel for the beginning of Sade’s career,
and see her modestly seductive, sweet dance moves, check out the lyrics and
video of her classic, “Sweetest Taboo”:
You’ve got the biggest
heart
Sometimes I think you’re
just too good for me
Everyday is Christmas,
and every night is New Year’s Eve
Will you keep on loving
me
Will you keep on, will
you keep on
Bringing out the best in
me
(For Muslims, it’s satisfying to
substitute Christmas with ‘Eidul-Fitr’ and New Year’s Eve with ‘Lailatul Qadr.' Smile)
Quite simply,
Sade’s music, and what it represented, had this way of making me feel
beautiful, romantic, cultured, confident, and powerfully feminine. Once, my
high school English teacher laughed at my poetry, saying it was more like a “short
story.” It was the influence of Sade’s music that allowed me to claim my poetic
brilliance in spite of the academic criticism.
In college, I
found myself in a serious relationship. While hoping to make the hours go by
faster at my summer office job, I was inspired to express my gratitude for this
burgeoning love affair. Brace yourself for the creative, brilliant, steamy (yet
corny) title and winning line from the poem. It was entitled, “It,” and one of
the culminating lines was, “It…is KING.” Brilliant, get it?! “It is...Your
love!” Some of you know that this line was a play on the words in the title of
one of Sade’s classics, shared below.
Then, there were
those bonding moments when I realized that others in my small African American
Muslim community also listened to Sade’s music and had been introduced to it in
similar ways. One such moment stands out vividly in my mind. During the days of
walk-mans and weekend trips to festivals on MARTA (subway system), my friend
Amber stood on the train in front of me, listening to Sade’s Diamond Life on
cassette tape. From her mouth, the words came out humorously distorted,
somewhat obnoxious, but beautiful and hopeful, nonetheless. Song: “Your Love is
King.” OMG! My heart opens ever so widely every time I hear this song, no
matter how repeatedly broken, how guarded, how distrusting. My broken heart
opens to the lyrics, the melody, the points of emphasis, all accompanied by
Sade’s sultry voice:
Your love is king
Crown you with my heart
Your love is king
Never need to part
Your kisses ring
Round and round and round my head
Touching the very part of me
It’s making my soul sing
Tearing the very heart of me
I’m crying out for more
You’re making me dance
Inside
As my friend
Amber held on to the train car handles, swaying from side to side, I recognized
the effect that Sade’s music has on the average person: It’s as if you’re put
in a trance. You get in touch with the radical lover inside yourself, inside
all of us.
Ultimately, this
song could be taken as a love song for God’s healing, rejuvenating,
life-producing Love: “This is no blind faith – This is no sad or sorry dream –
This is no blind faith – Your love, your love is REAL!” Is there any love more
real, more certain, more electrifying, more permanent than God’s?
Indeed, Sade’s
musical lyrics point me back towards God, as in the title song of her 2000
album, “Lover’s Rock”: “When I need to be rescued – And I need a place to swim
– I have a rock to cling to in the storm – When no one can hear me calling – I
have you I can sing to – And in all this – And in all my life – You are the
lovers rock – The rock that I cling to.”
If you didn’t
know any better, you might be thinking that Sade’s music only reflects romantic
love. NOT! I eerily realized this for myself when reacquainted with Sade’s
earliest music during my earth-shattering separation (which led to divorce and
a custody battle). The title of this 1985 song, “War of the Hearts,” confirms,
again, why I have such a strong, personal connection to Sade’s music.
I could aim, but I
could not fire
Who's calling the
shots
One of us must make
the peace
To have or to have not
The fire has got to
cease
I'm loaded
Don't know where to
point this thing
It's a sin
How we hit where it
hurts
One of us (one of us)
must end this masquerade
To have or to have not
Let's heal the wounds
that we've made
It's a war of the
hearts
As I move on
lovingly, faithfully, reclaiming my heart, I still depend on Sade’s music to
reveal powerful lessons on the path to radical love – “Love Is Stronger
than Pride,” “Soldier of Love,” “Hang On to Your Love,” to name a few. I am
hopeful in love and better equipped to take on its challenges.
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| A favorite photo of artist from the 80s |
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| Sade Concert, '11 at Philips Arena in Atlanta, GA, w/childhood friends Qadara Abdur-Rahman and Fatima El-Amin |
It’s not
surprising that Sade released her fifth album in 2000 to mark a new era: Lover’s
Rock. And coincidentally, today we celebrate the 13th wedding anniversary
of my sister Jamillah, HagarLives co-author. Of course, I was thrilled
thirteen years ago when they chose a Sade song for their first dance, “By Your
Side”:
When you're lost
You're alone and you
can't get back again
I'll find you,
darling, and I'll bring you home
And if you want to cry
I am here to dry your
eyes
And in no time, you'll
be fine
You think I'd leave
your side, baby
You know me better
than that
Think I'd leave you
down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're
right when you're wrong
And if only you could
see into me
Oh, when you're cold
I'll be there, hold
you tight to me
Oh, when you're low
I'll be there by your
side, baby
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| Jamillah Karim w/husband Hud Williams First wedding dance |
Thank you, Sade.
He [God] built a bridge to your heart
All the way
How many tons of love inside
I can't say
Hagar sings.
*Featured female artist: Nzinga Knight, Fashion designer and creator of Brooklyn Brewed Sorrel Mocktail. Visit: https://nzingaknight.com/